Great Expectations

I have high expectations of myself. I fully expect that I will always do well in my classes, that I will continue to write good papers, do quality research  and soon get out of grad school adding those little initials after my name. I expect the same with my scripts. I never go into the writing thinking that I'll write something adequate or acceptable. From the outset, my intention is to knock it out of the park.

Home runs always? No.

The difference between having high expectations and of expecting perfection, is that high expectations still get the work done. Sometimes, you even impress yourself and others. Sometimes, you fall short of impressive and maybe you barely get to "it's OK." If you expect perfection, I doubt that anything will ever get written. Even if it does get written, it will never get shared with others. It will never get to the outside. Perfection, of course, is impossible. It's incapacitating because it's an unachievable goal.

My great expectations are to get the work done. That's the work of a writer. I've got the October deadline for Scriptapalooza for the TV pilot scripts. I plan to get a little writing done this weekend if the Universe allows it. My scripts won't be perfect, but they will be far better than the guy who claims to be a writer but can't get past the fear that others will deem his work to be just "OK." I've written long enough to be over that. My fear is in NOT getting the stories written. My fear is that you won't have the opportunity to see my stories on your TV or at your theater. That would be tragic for you and disappointing for me.

I don't want you to have to suffer that tragedy. But more importantly, I don't want to disappoint myself.

Relaxation begets Stress

What a great break! There's nothing like doing nothing. But now that the break is over it's difficult not to look at the calendar and wonder where 2/3 of summer went.

Really? Only four weeks left?

In mid-August, it's back to the University for the madness that is the Fall semester. That time of welcoming a new class of first-ever college students tasting their first morsel of freedom. It's a time of drama dealing with their tragic miscalculations of time needed to get passing grades and teaching less about science and more about time management. Frankly, I have my own issue with time (and the lack thereof) yet for different reasons. How I would love the workload of an undergrad! I could get As and solve all the world's problems during my spare time.

Really!

I'm getting into the academic mindset now that I've seen the calendar. Over the next four weeks, I'll start spending increasingly more time on the comprehensive exam study and the thesis. Less time will be devoted to screenwriting. Ideally, I graduate in December. Then I can be a writer without conflict, without guilt. I'll get two or three of my pilots ready for the October scriptapalooza contest and that will be it for screenwriting until December. Pilot #1 needs some minor work, Pilot #2 is partially drafted and Pilot #3 is merely a funny idea in my head and hasn't hit paper yet. I really doubt it'll be ready to submit this go-round.

Really.

I tell my students that all of life is a balancing act, that your time will always have competing interests. It's all about choosing which balls are worth juggling and then not dropping the important ones. Right now, I'm juggling too much. The grad school time suck, however, is nearly done. I'm really close and it would be tragic to drop the ball now.

Really!